This incredible book helped to bring me to an understanding about myself and how to deal with some of my feelings. It gave me a tool that allowed me to enter into my heart and not my head. It taught me a simple way of dealing with my feelings and the lessons around forgiveness that I needed to understand in my life, which I am still learning about.
When I first read this book a short time after leaving the forces (1996), it was like an Orchestra playing to me, and the simple tool it provided me with in order to help deal with the ‘Hugh Swirl’ of emotions that were going on for me at a time when I felt I was lost in a world (civvy street) I no longer understood. I can only describe the events that were taking place at that time as my awakening to a higher power.
When we experience feelings we often externalise them, sometimes by holding others responsible for the way that we are feeling, and yet all they are is a gift, they are showing us something about ourselves that we do not like or are uncomfortable with. Paul Ferrini wrote in his book that when you experience an emotion so strong, then in that moment all that needs to take place is for you to sit with the feelings, feel the feelings, close your eyes and look inside at the feeling that has presented itself to you. Try not to give the feeling a name a name, because once we name it we move away from what the truth is, that's inside of us.
Just sit with the feelings, talk to them, tell them you accept them for the gift that they bring you, tell them that you embrace them and that you forgive them and yourself, and now that they no longer serve you, release them to the light, you do not have to understand these feelings, just be with them.
I can only tell you this, for me it worked and many of the feelings I felt then have never returned and if they do, then I guess I wanted to hang onto that them a little while longer until I felt they served me no longer.