When I remember…

I said a while back I would talk a bit about the reason why my unit 127 (Dragon) Battery R.A. had to stay on in Kuwait after everyone had pretty much gone home.

The reason we stayed was because the powers to be at the time felt that it was in everyone’s interests for us to remain in the desert as a result of our battle group being attacked by American A10’s, killing nine members of 3RRF. I am not judging anyone here; things happen for a reason this is something I have come to believe in more and more.

One day after the memorial service was held in the desert for the men of 3RRF one of my buddy’s came to my truck, he seemed quite shaken. He asked me if I believed in God. I replied no but I do believe there is more to life than just this existence that we have, in fact at that time my belief was and is firmly rooted in nature and the power of Mother Nature.

I asked him why he asked me this question, his reply was. As we were getting ready for the service (my buddy was one of our observation officers who was forward with 3RRF at the time of the attack) he said the sky was a clear blue not a cloud was to be seen the sand was a lovely golden colour, they then gathered around the padre who was giving the service and as he began the service, a cloud appeared directly above them and it began to rain and it rained non stop until the service ended, then the cloud disappeared as quickly as it had appeared. This left him wondering how this was possible and if there is such a thing as a God.

What has this got to do with me well, as I said I never believed in God why because I grew up in Belfast and have been surrounded by reglion which I do not follow even to this day, and while I understand that works for some it does not work for me.

Upon leaving the army I was challenged by my experiences of Civiy Street as I found it hard at first to adjust. I never prayed and one night leaving the pub I was feeling quite down I felt the real need to scream to the night sky shouting for f@#k sake I need help.

Cutting a very long stroy short, I found my creator as I understand him and my life has transformed completely as a result. Now when I run my workshops I like to use the serenity prayer (which I discovered when working in a 12-step rehab) with own little bit added onto the end. And when I remember to use it, I feel things transpire perfectly and when I forget things still work out but are just a little bit harder, they work out because the intent is there in my heart.

I would like to share this prayer with you.

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change

The courage to change the things I can

And the wisdom to know the difference

And my bit at the end is:

For the good of all and to harm none in the name of unconditional love.

And after my workshops, I also try to remember to thank all those who have helped in our process of self discovery from my creator to the people who have taken part, the trees, animals’ birds, insects, our guides and all that is.