Nature Awareness - Pretending that I was fine...

I was terrified this morning when I was having to talking process but immediately felt so relived and grateful for the support, love and trust of the group.

Nature awareness was AWE - some. We were playing a game where we were blindfolded and had to find our way back to the drum that was hit once a minute. I followed my heart and found myself at Geoff's side far ahead of any of the others.

The next part was to try and pull the rest of the group back towards us with only our will and prayers to bring them back to safety (there was no drum beat) for half an hour we were willing three members of our group to come 'home', - however hard I seemed to be calling with my heart, they couldn't find tier way back.

I felt so scared, helpless and powerless and became overwhelmed by emotion and felt distressed. I seemed to have drawn a parallel between our addictions and the lost members. They were lost and we couldn't help. I was lost before I committed myself to this recovery. The support of 'S, M, Geoff', and Ma' when I was panicked by my emotions in the woods. I invited the comfort an welcomed the care that they showed.

I'm proud of myself that I was able to accept this help because my old behaviour would have involved me pretending that I was 'fine' and rejecting their concern - because I tried to be stronger than I really was.